I have this collection of random thoughts, strange emotions, and life snapshots I call Expert in Reverse. Don’t ask me why, it just sounded good at the time. Today I thought I’d share one with you. These snippets don’t have names; they’re just a group of incredibly disordered musings. Without further ado.

I chose the deliberate destruction of restriction. Lack of straight lines and tiny gaps of perfect spacing.

What for?

Restriction, mind-numbing. Never again. A notebook full of unlined paper, mind lacking delineation.

Who needs it?

No one writes uniformly anyhow. It’s a world I don’t understand. My mind is not aligned with the rule of humanity. I have wildness in me that strains the very bounds of genetics. Sophisticate, I am not. Socialite, I am not. Seeker, explorer, child of learning. So little experience.

Am I alone in the universe?

Divorced from baser nature by their desire for evenness and normalcy.

What is that, anyway?

My normal is anxiety and a drummer who failed band. Hammering heartbeats and ragged breaths, dreams of spiders and grainy vomit. My room is full of bats. My Bat Cave. I’m no superhero, but I play one in video games.

You see?

No traction for sanity. Just a goodnight whisper to Kojak and blessed unconsciousness.

In case you’re wondering… Kojak is my betta fish. :3 I certainly hope you enjoyed this brief glimpse into the madness.

<3 elegy