Author: elegy nevermore

Review: Love, Simon

I intended to see Love, Simon last week, but I felt kinda sick and tired and decided to stay home. Didn’t wanna fall asleep during it myself. I feel like a complete moron for taking this long to see this masterpiece. As a member of the LGBT+ community myself (I’m asexual, for anyone who doesn’t…


Review: Unsane

I won’t lie; despite having his name attached to some popular and critically acclaimed films, the only Steven Soderbergh movie I’ve seen is Behind the Candelabra. So I can’t speak to the “goodness” of his films overall, but Unsane may have convinced me to see more of them. I had to go thirty miles to…


Review: The Hurricane Heist

If you didn’t hear about this movie, you’re in good company. The theater employee I spoke to before the screening said that it had only lasted a week or two, and I was the only one in the show. I wouldn’t call The Hurricane Heist a sleeper hit. I wouldn’t call it a hit at…


Review: Gringo

Chicago based pharmaceutical worker Harold Soyinka (David Oyelowo) is having a bad life. His accountant Stu (Bashir Salahuddin) has just informed him that his wife Bonnie (Thandie Newton) has spent him into bankruptcy. His bosses Rich Rusk and Elaine Markinson (Joel Edgerton and Charlize Theron) are predatory, unsympathetic, basically evil, and sleeping together. Rich is…


Review: A Wrinkle in Time

I was a bad elementary school student. I spent the majority of the time reading Goosebumps and Little Mr. books, and then The Phantom Tollbooth and Harry Potter. Somewhere around the time I was reading those, my peers all had at least a passing knowledge of A Wrinkle in Time. I knew the title. To…


A Primer on Theater Etiquette

I’ve seen Black Panther four times. I haven’t been able to fully enjoy the experience during any of those four screenings. People on their phones, talking loudly amongst themselves, moving around… It seems as if we’ve forgotten what it means to go to the theater. It’s different than watching a movie at home. You’re not…


Review: Red Sparrow

Boy, where do I start on this one? Warning you now, this film is not pretty. There’s blood, violence, rape, attempted rape, full frontal nudity, horrific murder, and torture. I don’t recommend even reading this review if these things upset you, and I barely graze the surface. Disclaimer achieved. Director Francis Lawrence doesn’t pull any…


Review: Death Wish

I’ll preface this review by saying, I have not seen Michael Winner’s 1974 Death Wish. My grandpa had one of the sequels, I believe Death Wish 3, on a VHS tape, and I know Charles Bronson was in it. That’s the whole of my knowledge of the franchise. I’ve made my general opinion about remakes…


Review: The Last Unicorn

I have to admit to something: I didn’t see The Last Unicorn, a seeming favorite film of my peer group, until last year. My sister was even shocked. “How did you never see it?” Well, I’m assuming it had something to do with my obsessive viewings of my favorite films; I was so busy watching…


Review: Death at a Funeral

An Evil Genius is occasionally truly evil. He has a strange tendency to show me movies that I don’t know I need to see until after I see them. He also laughs maniacally while doing this. #truth One movie he showed me recently is Frank Oz’s 2007 film Death at a Funeral. As I mentioned…